There will always be a blackbird that flies away.

For those who know Greek Mythology, perhaps you are familiar of the story of Calypso.
Calypso was the beautiful daughter of the titan, Atlas, the guy who holds the world on his shoulders. Because Atlas had a daughter, he was punished by her being banished to an island that can never be found. On top of being stranded on an island that literally could not be found, Calypso was cursed. Cursed to fall in love with all heroes who ended up on that island. A hero would only ever show up on the island if they were deeply lost, literally and emotionally, on their quest and needed a kind of help for which they could not provide for themselves. Heroes who ended up on the island would take time to gather their berings and ready themselves mentally and physically, with the help of Calypso, to continue their journey. Calypso was doomed to fall in love everyone she helped, and never will one stay.
In a sense, I can relate to this. Whenever I have invested emotions into a significant other, I've usually found that there is something going on with them that they need help with, but probably won't admit to it. Each time, I've helped them. They've left. Like a bird, I mend a broken wing and they fly off to discover who they are with this new freedom. I don't regret helping. I just wish parting wasn't so hard. But I should probably be used to it by now. I've have parted with many people. Family, friends, girlfriends, family friends. And it seems I fall into the same pattern of melancholy and remorse each time. When will I give myself a break?
I know that if anyone comes to me needing my help, I will not turn them down, no matter what the personal consequences may be. I love helping people. To know that I have been able to give them something to help them carry on with their lives with a better sense of freedom, gives me an uplifting feeling in my chest.
As I reminisce about all those who I have helped, I find myself sad and missing almost every single one. Every smile, every embrace meant something to me. It was beautiful. All of it.
But nothing lasts forever. To this day, I still do not know what it means to share a "healthy" relationship with someone. I have known many kinds of love, and heard many names of love. True Love, Smart Love, Healthy Love, Joy-filled Love. But is there a singular love that is above all these? Most would argue that true love might be that. But that's not always the case. If two truly do love each other, there's a chance that they will get lost in this love and forget to do what needs to be done in life. There's also a kind of "completing" love. Where each is able to compensate for the other's shortcomings. Is that what love is about? If you can recognize the shortcomings of your significant other and what they need to help him/herself with them, can they do the same for you? At what point is it meaningless to even hint at feelings for one another when life is staring at you, telling you that time will end it sooner than you would like?
I would like to believe that I know what love feels like. But if I have truly felt love before, I wasn't able to control it at the time. I let it get a hold of me and I lost sight of what was truly important. I know when I have feelings for someone, I never know when to introduce them. I think I will forever be afraid of this Calypso syndrome. That once my part in their life has ended, they leave mine. And I am just left wondering... Do they wonder about me too? About what is and what could have been? Would it have been better/worse? Does bringing up these questions just torture an already tortured mind? Is there anybody qualified to answer these questions? Or is it all just relative...

I know nothing lasts forever.
All blackbirds must leave the nest someday...

My First. Blog. Ever.

Hello world.

Sadly I didn't start this blog on the happiest of terms. Today I have come to realize something. As you grow, you gain things. Friends, relatives, talents, hobbies, etc. But you also lose some of the same things. Nothing in this lifetime can last forever. No One in your life can last forever. But they can always be remembered for how they changed your life. For every person I have met, there has been a song or an artist that makes me think of them. Sometimes songs overlap, sometimes more than one artist becomes associated with a person. But I digress. For a long time, the song Bye Bye Blackbird has been significant to me, because no matter what situation I am in, that song will always remind me of the same person. Today, the artist Frank Sinatra has locked in an association that will never leave me.
As I grow, everything I have lost has always allowed room for something new and beautiful to grow in its place. I hope that soon I realize what my recent loss will grant me. I hope that whatever power may be out there. That his spirit may be guided to a happier place.